Whether you have been divorced for one month, one year or many years, the holidays can prove to be a difficult time as painful or nostalgic memory resurface. There are; however, several ways to create a holiday season that feels less stressful and sorrowful, and more meaningful and joyous. Here, the family law attorneys at Rodier Family Law provide some key tips and tricks for celebrating the holidays after divorce.
Accept Your Feelings, But Don’t Let Them Control You
Trying to convince yourself that the holidays will not be difficult will only make those feelings more acute. Accept that the holidays are going to be stressful as a divorced person, but that this stress need not get the best of you. Let yourself feel the way you feel, but know that you deserve to have an enjoyable holiday filled with people who care about you.
While boundaries are valuable for everyone, those who are divorced will find that even more important. Let your friends, family and even ex-spouse (if you are in contact) know what your preferences are for handling specific events, conversations and invitations. If you would prefer not to attend a specific event, communicate that; if you would rather your parents did not invite your ex-spouse to their holiday party, let them know. This will help those around you understand your needs during this time.
Focus on Children and Other Family
It is important to remember that children are particularly sensitive to divorce, and that they deserve to still have a pleasant holiday independent of you and your ex-spouse’s relationship, or lack thereof. Even if you are not able to feel any excitement for the holiday season, try creating an environment that feels welcoming and happy for your children, so that they can feel a sense of comfort, security and familiarity during this transitional period.
If you do not have children, try to make the holidays special for another child in your life and spend time with loved ones who can support you throughout the holiday season. Getting involved in the spirit of the season will help to boost your own outlook.
Create New Traditions, and Discard Old Ones
If you and your former spouse had any holiday traditions you did not particularly enjoy, now is the perfect time to do away with them. This will allow you to feel refreshed and new. To replace these old traditions, create new ones: new memories made with family and friends will ensure you have something to look forward to each holiday season, and will help you to think less about former holidays spent with your ex-spouse.
Find a Way to Volunteer Time
Putting your time and energy into a cause greater than yourself is a great way to keep your mind off of a recent divorce or separation. It also allows you to give back to those less fortunate during a sentimental time for all. Consider whether you enjoy working with people, animals or completing tasks, and search for local volunteer opportunities that match your strengths.
Rodier Family Law’s Message this Holiday Season
The attorneys at Rodier Family Law wish everyone a joyous holiday season, and encourage all affected by divorce to take the time for self-care during this exciting, busy and stressful time of the year. Our dedicated family law attorneys are here to answer your questions about divorce or separation—for more information, contact us today.